Change is Coming

Just when we think we have our lives figured out, change comes. Change is a constant in life, I know, but there are moments when we experience a marked change and we take notice. Today is one of those times.

In June of 2013, everything changed. On a Friday morning, in an instant, I went from being one half of a family of two people, to being one of two parents to two little people who captured my heart and turned my life as I knew it then completely upside down. Mostly in a good way. But it did take adjustment. I had never spent my childhood dreaming about what life would be like as a Mom or what my kids would be like. Truthfully, I never really wanted to have children. But on that day, my heart, my mind, my life changed forever.

Of course over the years, being a mom has looked different. The kids just keep growing and changing, and with each change and milestone, I have changed too. When I look back, I see how I matured. I see how I became more responsible. I also see that I lost a lot of who I was and am. Being a parent really did launch me into a kind of adulthood I had never experienced.

Today, my youngest child, my spirited daughter, turns thirteen. Today I become a mom to teenagers. Two teenagers.

And I am so excited to see what this stage of life will look like.

My kids are two of the most interesting people I know. They are wise and kind. They are sensitive and fearless. They are both leaders in different ways. They both struggle and can be moody, and while it can be very frustrating at times, I love every single thing about them.

We all have to endure change. Over the past few years, all of us have learned to adjust to new ways of working and socializing. We have also learned to connect and come together for good. We have experienced the greatest collective trauma, and are learning how to heal together. All of this is change.

As I look forward to life as a mom to teens, in a new home, with changing relationship dynamics, I do so with a sense of hope and optimism. There is beauty in the messiness of life, with all its pain and joy. There is something very human about embracing change and remaining curious about what life will be life both in the midst of change and on the other side of it.

As we move through the holidays, we may be doing so through big or small changes. A new year brings new possibilities. Whether you are celebrating with the many you love, or only a few, or maybe all on your own this year, I wish you a very gentle holiday. May we all find peace.

And to my beautiful, strong, fearless daughter…Happy 13th Birthday, Taya. I am so proud to be your Mama. You are one exceptional human. And I love you.

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