Celebrate Your “Too Much-ness”

In a world that often emphasizes conformity and mediocrity, it’s not uncommon to feel like we are “too much” for others. Have you ever felt like that? Whether it’s being told we’re too loud, too needy, too ambitious, or too free-spirited, hearing the words “you’re too ______” weighs us down with judgement. It hurts. We begin to question whether we need to tone down our light or make ourselves more reserved. For years I have done that. I have lived by the expectations of others, of a world that doesn’t want me to shine. I have worked in a system that claims to celebrate innovation, equity, diversity, out-of-the-box thinking…and in some ways it does. But not from its leaders. And not if it makes some people uncomfortable. So we find ways of dimming our light, of quieting our voice, until eventually, we blend it and our voice sounds just like all the rest.

I do realize that being “too much” is merely a subjective label that often reflects the insecurities and limitations of others rather than our own inadequacies. In reality, those who label us in such a way may be threatened by our unique qualities – our voice, our ability to connect deeply, our ambition, or our wild hearts. Rather than internalizing these criticisms, I believe we need to recognize that those who truly appreciate and understand us will embrace our “too much-ness” and reframe it as being “enough.”

Questioning the “Too Much” Narrative

Society tends to project norms and expectations onto us, often leading to the perception that those who deviate from these standards are somehow “too much.” We are bombarded with messages that reinforce this narrative, urging us to tone down our personalities, dreams, and desires to fit into pre-defined boxes. But who gets to decide what is “too much” and what is “just right”? Challenging this narrative begins with questioning its validity and acknowledging that it stems from the insecurities and fears of others. We must not let the opinions of those who are threatened by our uniqueness define our worth.

Celebrating Our Voice

One aspect of ourselves that can make others label us as “too much” is our voice. Whether we express our opinions strongly, speak up for what we believe in, or simply refuse to stay silent, some individuals may find it uncomfortable or intimidating. But we can not. Our voice is an essential part of who we are. It represents our authenticity, our passion, and our capacity to effect change. Instead of quieting our voice to accommodate others, we should celebrate it and recognize that the right people will value and respect our ability to speak up. Every time we know we should speak up – when we feel disrespected, when we see injustices in the world, when we know change needs to happen – and we do not, we are locking away a little piece of our authenticity, exiling the parts of us that need to be heard.

Nurturing Meaningful Connections

Another reason people may label us as “too much” is our ability to connect deeply with others. Some individuals may feel threatened by our emotional intelligence, our empathy, or our capacity for vulnerability. But meaningful connections are the foundation of a fulfilling life. We should never apologize for our ability to forge deep bonds and touch the lives of those around us. Our capacity to connect is a gift, and the people who are worthy of our time and energy will appreciate and reciprocate it. Sometimes, it is easier to be a person with a hundred superficial friendships that to be a person who nurtures a handful of meaningful friendships. But meaningful connections, can feed the soul in a way that surface friendships can not. That is not to say that having many friends is “too much”. Not at all. I am simply encouraging those of us who have been led to believe that we are too picky or too needy or too intense in our relationships that it is okay to want more than acquaintances.

Embracing Ambition

Ambition is often seen as a double-edged sword. While it can inspire and propel us toward our goals, it can also evoke envy or insecurity in those who have yet to tap into their own potential. When we’re labeled as “too ambitious,” it’s crucial to remember that we should never apologize for our dreams and aspirations. Our ambition is a testament to our determination and drive. Rather than diminishing our goals, we should surround ourselves with individuals who share our ambition or can provide the support and encouragement we need to pursue them.

Unleashing Your Wild Heart

Perhaps one of the most stifling criticisms is being labeled as “too wild” or “too free-spirited.” Society often tries to confine us within societal norms, conditioning us to fear the unknown and remain within the bounds of conventionality. However, our wild hearts yearn for adventure, exploration, and self-discovery. We should never apologize for embracing our authenticity and embracing the unconventional. By unleashing our wild hearts, we inspire others to break free from their own self-imposed limitations and create a ripple effect of liberation. It is easier to unleash your wild heart when you are young, but often that is when you don’t have the resources to get out on those adventures. Find a way! Do it anyway! As we get older, and the responsibilities to take care of families, save for retirement, pay for kids’ college educations etc., build, it is harder to follow that adventurous heart. It is when we do that we can be tabled as “too wild” because we are “too old” to want those things. To those of us in that stage, I say let’s do it anyway! Find an adventure and go on it. Live a life that is too wild for some but just enough for you.

We are not “too much” for others; rather, they may be threatened by our courage, passion, and unique qualities. It’s essential to surround ourselves with people who appreciate and celebrate our “too much-ness” – those who understand that our voices, our connections, our ambition, and our wild hearts are the very things that make us enough. Let us confidently reject the limitations imposed upon us and create spaces where we can flourish, alongside individuals who uplift and empower us. Remember, being “too much” is an extraordinary gift that should be cherished, not diminished. Let’s celebrate being “too-much!”