Show Up, Imperfect and Messy. Just Show Up

This time of year is tough for me. Everyone is sharing their New Year’s resolutions and showing off their glow ups, their “best life” videos, letting the world know that they are not embracing their imperfections, they are eradicating them. And for most of us, that is hard to see and hear. Many of us are just trying to get through these dark days and are hoping for a sunrise before 8:00 am. Many of us are really quite self-critical, and that self-criticism can suck our energy, making us feel like we are not enough in our very human imperfection. So how do we show up even when we don’t feel like we are or have enough?

There’s something powerful about showing up, even when it feels like you’ve got nothing left to give. Life doesn’t wait for the perfect version of you to arrive — the one who’s well-rested, calm, and has it all figured out. Whether you’re parenting, leading a group of students or a school staff, or moving forward in your business, or simply trying to hold it all together, it’s not about showing up flawlessly. It’s about showing up fully — as you are, imperfect and messy, with your heart wide open.

Some days, that feels hard. Maybe even impossible. But trust me when I say: you are enough, just as you are, right now.

We live in a world that glorifies perfection. Polished homes, curated social media feeds, and stories of people who seem to have it all together can make us feel like we’re falling behind. But the truth? Nobody has it all figured out. Nobody is flawless. The best we can do is show up, embrace our imperfections, and do the work — the work of parenting, leading, and caring for ourselves — even when it’s messy.

Parenting in the Messiness of Life

Parenting is the ultimate exercise in imperfection. There’s no guidebook that prepares you for every curveball, every emotional moment, every heartache that comes with raising children. While raising our kids, I often wondered why the experience of raising my older child is so different from my younger? They grew up in the same home with the same parents. But they are very different kids, and they had very different early years. There really is no manual for raising children because every experience with every child is different.

Some days, you’ll feel like you’re rocking it — connecting with your kids, making them laugh, offering just the right advice at just the right moment. Other days, you’ll wonder if you’re getting anything right at all. You’ll lose your patience. You’ll snap. You’ll feel guilty. And when those moments come, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you’re not enough. I have been there…I am there right now, if I am being honest.

But here’s the thing: you are. Showing up — even when you’re tired, even when you’ve said the wrong thing, even when you feel like you’re stumbling through it — is what matters most.

Our kids don’t need a perfect parent. They need a present one. Someone who listens, who apologizes when they get it wrong, and who loves them through it all. They need you, exactly as you are.

Leadership: The Myth of Perfect Leaders

It’s not just in parenting where this myth of perfection shows up — it’s in leadership too. Especially (I have found) in schools. As principals, teachers, and staff, we hold ourselves to impossible standards. We think we need to have every answer, solve every problem, and never let anyone see us struggle. We carry the weight of other people’s expectations, always striving to be “enough.”

But leadership isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being human. Leadership is, ultimately, about relationships. We manage systems. We lead people. So leadership is about showing up for your team and your students, your staff and your clients, even on the days when you feel like you’re barely holding it together. It’s about being honest and vulnerable, admitting when you don’t have the answer, and leading with heart instead of ego.

Your staff don’t need a perfect leader. They need a real one. They need someone who listens, who cares, and who shows up — even when it’s hard. They need someone who models what it means to be human, to make mistakes, and to keep going anyway.

Caring for Yourself: The Missing Piece

Here’s the part most of us struggle with the most: showing up for ourselves. It isn’t just me, right?

We give so much to everyone else — our families, our jobs, our communities — that we forget to leave anything for ourselves. We push through exhaustion, bury our emotions, and convince ourselves that we’ll rest later. But later never comes, and before we know it, we’re burnt out, depleted, and wondering how we got here. On those days, I find myself wondering if I need to give up, or if there is something more I can do to change how I am feeling. Realistically, I need to do less, or at least to do things differently.

Self-care isn’t a luxury. It’s not something we squeeze in when there’s extra time. It’s a necessity. And it doesn’t have to be elaborate or time-consuming. It starts with small moments — taking a deep breath before walking into a meeting, stepping outside for five minutes of fresh air, saying no when you’re stretched too thin. Finding somewhere in your workplace that you can feel joy. For me, that place is the kindergarten classroom. Spending time with those students as they are learning and absorbing knowledge brings me back to a place of remembering why I do this work. And it reminds me why I need to care for my Self in order to be able to show up for them.

Showing up for yourself means recognizing that you’re worthy of care and compassion, just like everyone else you’re taking care of. It means acknowledging that your own well-being matters and that you don’t need to be perfect to deserve rest, love, and joy.

Good Enough is More Than Enough

There’s a phrase that has stuck with me for years: Good enough is enough. Sometimes I believe it.

It’s a reminder that we don’t need to be perfect to make a difference. We don’t need to have all the answers to be effective leaders or parents. We don’t need to be polished to be worthy of care.

When we let go of perfection, we create space for connection. We show our kids that it’s okay to make mistakes. We show our staff that they can be vulnerable. We show ourselves that we’re deserving of love and grace, just as we are.

The truth is, showing up — even imperfectly — is what changes lives. It’s what builds trust, deepens relationships, and creates a sense of belonging. It’s what teaches others that they don’t have to strive for perfection either.

So, How Do We Show Up?

Here are a few ways to keep showing up, even when it feels messy:

Give yourself permission to be human.
You’re allowed to have bad days. You’re allowed to make mistakes. You’re allowed to not have it all figured out. Let go of the pressure to be perfect and embrace your humanity.
Apologize and move on.
When you mess up — whether it’s with your kids, your staff, or yourself — apologize and move forward. Perfection isn’t the goal; growth is.
Take small steps toward self-care.
Self-care doesn’t need to be a grand gesture. Start small. Drink water. Take breaks. Listen to your body when it’s asking for rest.
Remember that presence matters more than perfection.
Whether it’s with your kids, your staff, or yourself, showing up fully — even when it’s messy — is what makes the difference.
Be kind to yourself.
If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself. Speak to yourself with the same kindness and compassion you offer to others.

The Magic of Showing Up

The truth is, we’re all a little messy. We’re all figuring it out as we go. And that’s okay.

Your kids will remember the moments you were there for them, not the moments you got everything right. Your staff will remember how you made them feel seen and valued, not whether you had all the answers. And you will remember the moments you allowed yourself to breathe, to rest, and to believe that you are enough — just as you are.

So, show up. Show up for your family. Show up for your students. Show up for yourself.

Show up imperfect, messy, tired, or unsure.

Just show up.

That’s where the magic happens.